Saturday 25 August 2018

All The Deets On My Mental Health | Part Two

Part two? I never thought I'd be doing a follow up post on this subject but here we are 🙊
In September 2016 I posted my story about my mental health. The good, the bad and the ugly. It was very honest and open and largely for those reasons I am rather proud of it.
You know what they say, a lot can change in a year... Well even more can change in two.

It has been one hell of a ride.
I have been at rock bottom, and lived there
- i may as well have become the mayor -__-
given up, felt worthless and honestly believed that recovery was something I would never be able to achieve.

While I also suffer from depression and anxiety, OCD well and truly wrecked my life.
There were points along the way that I didn't want to touch anyone or be touched. I spent most of 2015 in my room. Hiding. At times I wouldn't leave the house for a month at a time. It feels as though OCD made me feel allergic to life. Everything that involved speaking, coming into physical contact or touching other people scared the life out of me. I avoided it at all costs.

Over the last year, with hard work and determination, my OCD has slowly but surely improved 😃
This year I decided to do something that has always scared me : go on medication. Now, since being on tablets for some time, I feel more like myself than I have for a very long while. My OCD has become so minimal that I feel that I live a pretty 'normal' life 😄 

This past week I started a new job. Since my OCD began I have been unable to work, which is something that has always upset me.
But now I am proud and ecstatic to say that I am working, which is something that for a long time, I thought was only a dream.

While I'm not suggesting that everyone goes on medication, it has certainly helped me in more ways than I can count. If I could go back, I would definitely have stated treating my OCD with medication much sooner. But that's not how it works. What I can do though is continue on. Living my best life. I am not saying 'I'm cured from OCD!'. I believe that it will always be with me, a little voice that tries to regain control. But I feel far more prepared to deal with it now and it has become a much quieter voice.

As of August 2018 I consider myself to have recovered from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder 😭
I honestly never thought I'd be at the point that I'm at today. I feel tremendous pride and strength and happiness.

I'm so grateful for this journey but here's to the next chapter 🎉
I made it 💖

Thank you so much for stopping by 💗


Sunday 12 August 2018

Primark Amber Passion Palette : Review

It's been a hot minute since I did a review! 🙈
This post will *hopefully* answer any questions you have regarding the Primark Amber Passion palette.
After picking this palette up I was so excited to try it that I filmed my - first ever! - first impressions using it for the first time. Since then I have now used every shade on my eyes and I feel I can honestly give it a full review 💗
Let's get started! 😊

I was just browsing in Primark for the third time that week
- lolz but seriously xD
when I saw this beauty. I was seriously taken aback. I mean, look. at. it 😍 And then I saw that it was £3..... £3?!?! Seriously 😱
So, I didn't really know what to expect as I had never tried and Primark eye shadows but oh boy! This was such a surprise! 
One of the first things that impressed me was the fact that the shades have names.
I personally find it easier when products have a name, particularly when it comes to blogging or YouTubing. It's just a bazillion times less complicated when you can just refer to something by it's actual name and not: this shade on the fourth row and the third shade in - ya know?
I feel like you get a pretty good selection of finishes and tones. I feel like creating a day time look is quite limited with this palette (especially with how pigmented they are - we're almost getting there ;)). 
I love the fact that it has a magnetic closure
- seriously it's only £3
I would feel quite safe throwing this in my bag. Having 9 shades is a nice round number, it's just enough to give you variety and not overwhelming to the eye
- cut to me panicking about not knowing what to use xD
shades left to right - Sunrise, Burn and Champagne
shades left to right - Solar, Aura and Glory
shades left to right - Radiate, Illusion and Edge
I mean ✋✋
The mattes are incredible. INcredible 😅 
All of the shades are very easy to blend, I feel if you over-blend they can start to disappear so a light hand would be best. I found that the more shimmery shades were just metallic enough, but that's coming from someone who constantly wants glittery/metallic/sparkly goodness on her eyes all the time 😉
shades used :
Radiate - as my transition shade
Burn - through the crease
Aura - on the lid
Burn - on the outer corner
Radiate and Burn on my lower lash line
Champagne - as my brow bone and inner corner highlight

Bobbi Brown Long Wear Cream Shadow stick in Bark on upper lash line
Benefit Bad Gal Bang mascara
Revlon Volume + Length Magnified mascara

The first look I created was a very 'me' look 😂
As soon as I saw Aura I knew I needed that on my eyes pronto!
I feel like the shades perfectly complimented each other, blending seamlessly together.
shades used :
Sunrise - as my transition and crease shade
Solar - on the lid
Illusion - on the outer corner
Glory - on the lower lash line
Edge - on the inner corner
Sunrise, Illusion and Glory on my lower lash line
Champagne - as my brow bone and inner corner highlight

Bobbi Brown Long Wear Cream Shadow Stick in Bark on upper lash line
Benefit Bad Gal Bang mascara
Primark SOSU lashes style - Paris

The second look was a little out of my comfort zone. I got a bit carried away when I saw the beautiful orange shades 😌
BUT! makeup is supposed to be fun, right? 🙊
Considering that the shades I used were rather bright
- and hella pigmented!
they blended easily and gave me no trouble whatsoever 💃

As someone who enjoys a warm toned palette, I feel this is a prefect match for me. I didn't have to work hard to get colour pay off, I had very little fall out and not too much kick up in the pans. Do I feel that these shades can be duped? Possibly. Could they be duped for something cheaper than £3 for 9 shades? I  h i g h l y  doubt it 😏

Overall I love this palette (as if you couldn't tell haha!)
If you'd like to see me applying the first look in video format, click the link below to see my first impressions of using the palette.

I hope you found this review helpful, if you have any questions that I didn't answer please don't hesitate to ask and I'll do my very best to answer 🙊
Thank you so much for stopping by 😊


Friday 10 August 2018

A Catch Up

Oh so many apologies for the radio silence on here. I shan't make excuses.
I thought my first proper post back in a while should be a bit of a catch up. Stand out points from the last couple of months or so 😊
Let's get into it shall we?

1. I got a job!! 🎉😃
I made the decision to look for work. After being out of work for almost four years, I feel like I am ready to get back out there. My OCD has improved so so much, I can barely remember what it was like to be so controlled by that I was unable to even get out of the house. Over the last four years all I have ever wanted was to be able to work. It was such a dream of mine which, at times, felt completely out of reach. It was just a dream. And now? I am starting a new chapter. I cannot put into words how excited I am! I am taking steps to improve my life and to grab it with both hands feels incredible 😭😍

2. Regular uploading on YouTube 🙊
Since Wednesday 27th June I have uploaded a video every Wednesday and Sunday! I have been on YouTube (on and off) since 2011 and this is the most consistent I have EVER been 😱 It feels amazing 😊 Creating videos has always been something I enjoy, the whole process from the filming to the editing to creating a thumbnail... I love every aspect of it. This past - almost - 2 months has felt exciting and completely natural. There were no jitters or awkward feelings when starting back up. It felt as though I hadn't had any breaks over the last few years. I am so happy to be back and back with a vengeance! 💪

3. Makeup 💄👀
Accompanying my return to YouTube my love of makeup has been reignited. It was always there but over the past 4 years it has become less of a fun hobby and more of a chore 😢
- who am i without gold eye shadow?!
It left me feeling like something was missing. A rather big part of me had been diminished to the point that it almost didn't interest me anymore. However... Since my OCD and mood have improved, it has created a place for all of the things I enjoy - makeup being the biggest one! My love for makeup has well and truly returned and it may sound cheesy, but I feel whole again 💖

And that brings me to today.
I have missed blogging. I feel that now that I am in a good routine with my YouTube channel, I feel ready to get back to my blog 😊💝

I want to thank you so much for stopping by and here's to more posts in the future 😁