Friday 24 June 2022


My last public post was on January 29th this year. If that doesn't show the headspace I've been in I don't know what does.

At the end of last year, I was getting up early every work day to have enough time to meditate, script, stretch my body and dance. Looking back, I don't really recognise the person I was nor the mental space I was in. I was motivated to wake up early before a 12-hour shift, four times a week just to have this little routine. My mind was different on the days I did this compared to the days I had skipped it. Believe me, I wasn't all 'love and light, peace and butterflies' on the days that I had carried out my routine, but I just felt different. Calmer maybe? My tarot and Oracle decks were being used regularly. After every shift, my partner and I would sage each other after our showers. 

I mean I can go on and on about the me of then compared to the me of today, in a way, shaming myself. Comparison can be effective, sure, but when it comes to someone who struggles with their mental health, life issues, work bullshit and just generally being an adult in 2022, comparison can be your arch-nemesis. Being on a growth journey is notoriously tricky.  You've seen the memes right?? Growth isn't linear. It has its ups, downs and static moments. That's part and parcel of it all. Sometimes you go backwards, which can be incredibly heartbreaking and discouraging. You've come this far just to return a few steps back or to where you started. Trying to be the person I was when I look back and think 'this was when I was at my peak' is useless. I'm not that person anymore. We've been through so much shit, trauma and heartache since then. We've evolved - whether we acknowledge that or not. Maybe a tweak is necessary? Finding what works for the me of today

Learning to care for myself, you know be a little kinder and understanding. Not compare myself to them, Kim Kardashian or even myself. Living in this world where you get to see the highlight reel of everybody's life is exhausting. Checking in with myself each day may be something more achievable to work towards a realistic expectation of my life. Who knows, one day I may be doing a very similar morning routine to what I used to do. But for now? It's too far away. And that's okay.

POV : I didn't plan this post. Getting out my laptop to go on Pinterest and ignore myself and my thoughts is a frequent occurrence. But I opened up my notepad and began typing. 


Thank you for stopping by, I really appreciate it xoxo

As always, sending you love and kickassery 😏💪💋💖

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