Monday 16 October 2023

Mental Health / Consistency.

Being mentally ill/struggling with mental illness’, affects you in oh so many ways.

I remember wanting to become a full-time YouTuber – that’s what it was called back then! Now I guess it’s called a “content creator”. There were two time periods where I felt I was taking it seriously. Back in 2011-2013 when I was working from home and had quite a bit of free time. The other time was in 2018 when I was unable to work, so again, I had free time (excluding the struggles etc.).

Since beginning to work again, my productivity and mental state were suddenly thrown in that direction.

- This would later come to be a huge cost to me but that’s for another time⌚😉

My attention was massively occupied with work and the journey of creating content not only took a back seat but became nonexistent (as did effort with myself, self-care, recovery and overall well-being).

In the past year, I have been pestered by a question: 

I cannot for the life of me find a way to manage my mental health while producing regular content. The thought of having an upload schedule and planned posts seems completely foreign to me. Sure, I can film, write, and upload on ‘good days’ but what if those are few and far between? What if I’m having a great month and then lose steam? 

We all know that to “make it”, you must be consistent. Consistency is key. But what if you’re unable to be structured in your own mind and life let alone sitting in front of a camera on a regular basis? I lose traction. I run out of steam. The effort feels impossible when I’m struggling to get out of bed let alone have the drive to put makeup on and film.  

So, the question returns: How do they do it??? 

I guess having a dream, or a goal would create a passion. Something to cling to, to aim for. Maybe if I woke up each day thinking "My next upload will get at least 10,000 views and this year I will reach 100,000 subscribers" it would be the fire under my butt that I need? Is that how it's done? You push through the rough days and hard moments and get your creator hat on. 

I spent a lot of my life 'faking it to make it'. I don't want to -no, will not go back to doing that. So while I will probably never have the answer to my looming question, I think there's something I can try. 

Happiness. Playing some great music, watching organization/cleaning videos and dancing put me in such an amazing headspace it's crazy how something so simple could have such a great effect on me. But making the choice to put those things into action? That's the hard part. Sure, I know that if I do x, y, z I'll feel great, if I'm feeling like crap, the idea of making effort on any level feels impossible. Implementing the beginning stages is where the magic may be. Starting my day (whether at 6 a.m. or 4 p.m.) with upbeat music is pretty much guaranteed to have me in a high-vibe mood. 

Rather than trying to climb the whole mountain, maybe I can just try to start by taking the first few steps? When feeling good I have proven to myself all of the things I can accomplish and maybe, that all begins with a song?


Thank you for stopping by, I really appreciate it xoxo

Please take care of yourself, you are so important and deserve the world 🌍

As always, sending you love and kickassery 😏💪💋💖

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